Archives for category: Trashion

 

We got this sent to us on Christmas Eve. What a lovely gift. A public bathroom in the background is always a telling sign that this young lady lives with her parents and would never be allowed to leave the house like this. Ladies, if you’re reading this, when mom and dad say you cannot leave the house like that, it’s not because they are scared of sexual assault, it’s because you look cheap. Another thing, why are girls always dressing like sexy Santa? He is a man, it is essentially cross-dressing. Try being a wrapped gift, that is way more sexy, then find someone worthy of unwrapping you. This is Trashion. I hope it came with a gift receipt.

P.S. why is there a drain on the floor of the bathroom?

 

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We are always talking about rules, and sure there are times when rules are meant to be broken, but there are also times when rules are very important. Here is a rule, don’t do a pose to show off your butt, if your butt is nasty. Look at this thing, it is so flabby. She is too young to look like that. Add squats and lunges to your workout regiment. Is there a word for a person who is thin, but not toned? It’s not even about having muscles, it’s about respecting the elderly and making the most of your time with your youthful body. This dress is built on the idea that your body will pop in it, it is a simple pattern and color, specifically so your body will do the talking. She can’t handle the responsibility. The dress is fine, the body is Trashion.

This picture was sent in from Trent. There was no caption or comment, just a picture. We have various experts here who came to the following conclusion, this is Trent’s ex-girlfriend who dumped him randomly and now he is gaining closure by realizing how whack she is. It is very cathartic. You know when you’re getting dressed and you are trying on everything to find the perfect outfit?  For whatever reason, those options that don’t make the cut, end up on the floor or cluttered somewhere in the corner of the closet. Now, take a look at this girl, do you think it is possible that she had a pile like this in her room, and her mom said to clean up, but she was too busy on facebook so she never got around to it? Then mom threatened to ground her, so the girl did what anyone would do and put all of the items on her body and eliminated the mess in one swoop. Sounds plausible. In actuality, this girl thinks she looks amazing. This shouldn’t even be worn if you’re painting a house and plan on throwing it out afterwards. Just Trashion all over the place. Pick one item and coordinate around it, none of this mush it altogether and push your breasts out to over-compensate the nasty.

No. Just stop. Trashion.

TheFlashion.com has been on the forefront in the fight against pink animal prints. It would be great to live in that mystical world where animals can be fluorescent colors, but it just is not real, yet. The goal of an animal print is to bring a guy back to his primal roots so he will hunt you. This will just confuse people and make them question if their drink is spiked. The world is crazy enough already without all this pink nonsense. There is one explanation that we will accept, this is a pattern from the future where animals do come in various colors. Pink stinks, stick to survival of the fittest camoflouge prints and dominate in the wild. This is Trashion.

I can see how you could dress this poorly if all your buddies dress this poorly. Someone invite a stylish friend out, you might learn something. Gross. Trashion.

This type of thing drives us bonkers. If you’re really going to squeeze into something and force the funk on a nasty dunk , at least pick something that is awesome looking. Nothing about this is visually pleasing. It’s literarily altering the atoms that make up that skirt. It is ready to explode. When you wear something tight, do the shadow test, if your shadow looks frumpy, it’s because you’re too bumpy. You can’t rely on mirrors because of the lighting, you need to see your silhouette. I feel bad, I think this girth crept up on this girl, no one in retail would let her try this on and buy it, even if the sale involves commission. Trashion.

P.S.  Whoever sent this in is cold blooded.

This guy(?) thought that black Friday meant to look at yourself in the mirror with the lights off. What a crazy looking person.

Not even a Halloween costume. This is real life. It’s one thing to be a nascar fan, but this is just silly. The only thing she probably knows about cars is the back seat. Racecar is spelled the same forward and backward, that’s a palindrome. This girl is the same forward and backward, gross. Eventually, as a society we need to move past being sluts, and start allowing ourselves to be more than flesh. You want to grab, his stick shift and hit the gas, that’s great, how about getting his attention with your mind. Men like a little mystery, if they see exactly what they are getting, they are never going to respect it for being anything more. Girl, stop looking for the checkered flag, and throw in the white one. This race is over, you crashed. Trashion.

Baby baby baby, you got it all wrong. The belt is not supposed to be worn up there. Mistake city. It’s pretty obvious why you’re wearing it that high up on your torso, it’s because it’s a child’s belt that is not long enough to wrap around your waist. If this was truly the trend, then saggy boobed older women would be at every bingo table with a belt under their tits. Traditionally, belts are used to keep loose pants up, these pants look so tight that they might be painted on. The shirt is hideous anyway. Maybe instead of a small,little belt, she should have covered up the whole thing with a poncho. Look at the background, notice the trash bags, at least she is with her family. Trashion.