I made a vow to the Flashion gods that I would never discriminate based on the color of someone’s skin. I never agreed to not discriminate based on the color of someone’s skins plural. Tan lines are a bitch. It’s a dangerous game trying to protect yourself against the sun. Between the lotions, shirts, umbrellas, water, and mustard from your hot dog, it’s impossible to have even protection. Somewhere, somehow, you’re going to get an uneven skin tone. The importance of skin safety is undervalued. I don’t know if it’s because of guidos or the fact you just look better tan, but a lot is sacrificed to get a little pigment. The people in the sunny parts of the world have such an advantage out there, they always look fresh and alive. People in the cold parts are borderline zombies for 8 months. Then the sun pops out and out come the dead. Trying to soak up every ounce of Vitamin C that the ozone layer lets through. There are going to be some residual consequences from not seeing the largest star in the galaxy for a long period of time. Mainly, white skin. Those first few days outside, you’re going to look a little pasty. Those first few days should have been a month ago. It’s almost August. Sun’s out, guns out. Show them shoulders. By July 4th, you no longer have a pale skin free pass. Sunless Tanner, it’s you’re only chance to look like a human. If you’re into the two tone look, that’s fine, just remember you’ll be the only one taking your undies off this summer. Think about when you came back from winter break in school and someone vacationed somewhere tropical, they were a main trending topic until it faded. Life is for learning. Trashion. Make an effort.

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